Happy Birthday Mummy

Sunday, 2 February 2014
On the 3rd of February is my mummy's birthday , she was supposed to be 47 but sadly she not here , she's in a better place where all the pain is no longer with her.  Some days before I turned 18, I wasn't really looking forward to it because I was missing her badly...so I wrote this to vent my feelings out.


I feel so alone in this world
No one around me understands the pain 
No one feels the sadness 
Of losing your mum at a young age

Your mum is supposed to be your hero 
Some one who knows you better than you know yourself 
Yet she was snatched away from me by the Hands of death
I had to learn to do things on my own

She he missed out on seeing me go to secondary school
On me getting my first period
She missed my graduation 
She missed the first day I left home for uni
She couldn't be there because death took her away from me

No one knows how it feels to go through those landmarks with a mum
You don't feel the pain I feel when I hear people talk about their mums 
I can't  look forward to going home to going to eat my 'mothers home cooked meal'
I feel so sad and am tired being strong and pretending it doesn't hurt anymore

She's going to miss when I graduate from university
When I get my first job and move finally out of the house
When I get married
When I have kids
She didn't get to be a grandma

I am not ready to move to next stage of my life
Am not grown enough to be 18
I still want her, I still need her 
To advise me and tell me what to do

I didn't get to know your words of wisdom
I didn't get to have my mum hold when am sad and down
To tell me it's alright and everything is going to be okay
I had to be my biggest cheerleader

I miss you mum and I wish you where still
I hope that things get better with time
Because I still need you.

 I miss you mummy, Happy Birthday... I will always love you               

1 comment:

  1. Hey,

    You commented on my blog today and I came over to say hi! I spotted this and it seems we've had a lot of the same experiences. I lost my Mum too and like you I don't think anyone will every understand that pain. Not a day goes by that she's not on my mind.

    I'm truly sorry this has happened to you too, I would give anything to stop another person feeling that loss. But I wanted to offer a shoulder. I know I don't know you, and you don't know me, but if you feel the need to get it out and talk to a complete stranger, I'm your girl.

    Thea x x



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