Transferring Emotions (Release me part 2)

Monday, 11 April 2016
Almost two years later, i'm writing a part two to my release me story which I thought I wouldn't need to write ever again but oh well. Hey guys I hope you are all well and your week has or is going fine, today I'm going to be pouring out my thoughts unto the internet if you don't mind.

Around July of 2014, I wrote about this heartbreak story of mine that was taking me so long to get over if you want to read about it, it's here. Well this tale I'm about to tell is similar to it, it basically stems from the other story.
I'm basically trying to prep/read for my finals and also try and finish my essay when my mind starts to wander and remembers someone I'm trying to forget. This is because I had to shut the door on someone who was very toxic in my life and very toxic for my mental state. I know what I did or I'm doing is the right thing but it hurts so much, you know for example if you eat cake every day, it not good for you. So some days when the cake cravings come you have to say no but its so hard, that's the feelings I have towards "said person". I know its going to be good for me in the long run but its hurts so much right now. 

This is the part that got me thinking, the same feelings had about the first person I wrote about let's call him 'PersonA' two years ago and the current one I'm writing about now let's call him 'PersonB', are the same kind of feelings from start to finish. That made me wonder, did I just transfer emotions or feeling, because it was when 'PersonB' got into my life that I got over 'PersonA'. There have been other guys after 'PersonA and before 'PersonB' but it was 'PersonB that made me really get over 'PersonA'. 

It made me turn to google, is it possible to transfer emotions? and sure enough there's a terminology  like that called 'Transference'. Wikipedia say transference is "the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object". Following the definition, I think i've transferred feelings and the sad part is that, I think i'm going through the same cycle of feelings in my life again.
Obviously 'PersonB' is not in my life because it didn't work out, that's why I'm feeling this emotions again that I felt previously. The only difference is that 'PersonB' still tries to show up in my life but he is no good for me so, one day I had to cut him off. but it hurts so much (ie the cake reference).

Now I'm stuck in this limbo of him imagining scenarios that I know are not coming true in this lifetime. I think I fall to hard that I find it difficult to pick myself up at times. The reason why I'm so of scared transference is that I'm scared that it would take me the same amount of time or even longer to get over 'PersonB' as it did of 'PersonA'. Cause it took be five years to get over 'PersonA', so who knows how long this is going to take. 

I know my thoughts may seem scattered but this is what I'm going through at the moment and I just wanted to share that with you guys. Has anyone ever gone through this? or is anyone going through this? Let me know in the comments below how you're dealing or how you've dealt with this, sorry for the lengthy post.
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1 comment:

  1. This is heartbreak that you're going through, I know how it must feel cause it seems like you found someone that you were spiritually connected to, like a soulmate. But that's the thing about soulmates, the force we have with them is so strong that it would be dangerous if they stayed in our lives forever. Time heals all wounds be it five days, five week, five months or five years. It would be fine in the end and you'll laugh about this soon.


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